Keeping score in relationships linked to decline in satisfaction.

Study finds expecting reciprocity in relationships leads to declines in satisfaction over time.

Why it matters

  • Understanding relationship dynamics can help improve personal well-being and relationship longevity.
  • Highlights the importance of communal over exchange orientations in relationships.

By the numbers

  • Long-term study of couples in Germany.
  • Most individuals became less exchange-oriented as relationships matured.

The big picture

  • Expecting repayment for favors or sacrifices can lead to a decline in relationship satisfaction.
  • Shift towards communal mindset may enhance emotional intimacy and satisfaction.

What they're saying

  • Some users note that keeping score might be useful in certain contexts, but it could indicate deeper issues.
  • Religious perspectives also emphasize not keeping records of wrongs.

Caveats

  • Study is observational and doesn’t prove causation.
  • Cultural context may limit generalizability (focused on German couples).

What’s next

  • Further research could explore interventions to help couples adopt more communal mindsets.
  • Exploring cultural differences in relationship dynamics could provide more insights.